Take it as an experience

welcome to read my blog. hm, holiday going to end and will start my form 5 life soon.Sigh~Dad told me yesterday: " next year will confirm where ur future to be ." Dont waste ur time. think of tis, i'm really quite open ady. i read lots of book in this holiday change alot in this holiday. book bout love yeah 1 or 2..no more than that ..bcoz of the book, it knock me up tat gv up and forget is up to someone. If still stubborn to remember the past , it only live in the past . So when i will be a big gal? if the guy didnt loved u ady why still continue missed him? whenever u missed him u jz rolled down ur tears he oso wont be ur side. past is past. Learn to forget and accept that our love had been end is the true way .dun put any hope in this relationship. mayb before break up gal like to ask u wont leave me away rite ? guy will ans yes of coz i wont leave u, i will be wif u forever. when the love end, guy can forget watever thay can but gal cant. coz the gal love the guy too much. whenever the gal we break up la, the guy will bless tat gal give him a chance. but too much blessing will make guy's confidence gone . I realise all of this.now the gay can forget the guy coz the gal hvt find the next love. the book said.haha~ tis is not the big deal. try to open minded mayb can change our life. i'm still got many years to go, why dont live happy. when dun know when our life end. LOve? now for me tat is too early to get love. i'm change alot jz tq u.no need said welcome coz i felt tat u are rite. but remind u tat ur stubborn oso need to change. all of the gal in the world like to control guy.in this 1 year 4 month, i fall in love to u. but now, we are seems like sibling. hehe~k7, when u read my blog i hope u tat can type a blog bout after we break up, what to looking to, what u want to see in the future ..all u want to type is ok ..i will support ur blog ~

Forgive each other will get being life

Today I watch drama and it called “ daddy at home”. The drama start at a daddy ( businessman) and very famous in Singapore and the wife called Xin bei ( only tc of her husband’s daughter) send their children xiao en go dancing go violin and drawing course..everything need money. Of course lau beng( the businessman) can earn more than 10000 dollar a month. He got a car and two apartment.their life very comfortable, happy and sweet warm.It jz a blue of bolt, lau beng has been fired. And he spent more than 700000 dollar to buy an equity on rehman bro sdn . The rehman bro sdn faced equity storm, all the money lau beng spent has beed spoil out ..after 2 weeks, his wife knew bout tis, but his wife still keep quite and she jz waiting for her husband told her bout this news.. 2 days ago,they argued coz her wife ( xin bei ) stop xiao en ( daughter) dancing and violin course. Aim is to help her husband to save money and do part time at a novel writing company. Lau beng so angry, lau beng scolded her that : “ the family no need u to work and I not tat inability to pay for xiao en course.” He wasn’t realised tat his wife was helping him. His stuborn cant change his wife’s mind to continue to work in writing company .and xin bei said : “ why u so ego and everything like ( important to ur face )…lau beng said: “ coz when I studied in uni u paid course( fee ) for me and I promised myself I wont let u worked after married.”
From tis lesson, I know tat , for children no need to attend too much course bcoz it will be their stress increase day by day when they going to grow up..study and sport enough.lau beng and xin bei ..ya they are role model of lover and gud parents for their daughter …nowadays, I dun know y the wife must stay in house . it seems like in prison, like a maid, like a pet.why not they both earn money together and children let their grandmum to tc and they can work n pay some money for their grandmum. 1st , they can earn more income and they can retired early. Prepare money for their children to futher education oversea. And after retired can go travel together..y not ? my planning was not wrong ..that I want to do..

I just made a karaoke recording: Westlife - The Rose check it out at http://www.karaokeplay.com/recordings/the-rose-1183782.html

I just made a karaoke recording: Westlife - The Rose check it out at http://www.karaokeplay.com/recordings/the-rose-1183782.html

break up day of 4th

Today is our break up day of 4th..u always told me that, past ady past ady, but u know stg? “ iIt is important to retain past mind, imposisble to hold onto present mind, and imposisble to grasp future mind.” This is become there is no such thing as a “ mind” that can acquire or control things. Laa..this is not the point!!! I want always be with u ..not oni go go mei mei!!i hope we can couple again. I dun hv any reason to grab u bek , I jz want u happy always. My heart still open for u as u said. But today jz the 4th day, my heart already a bit gone. Seriously. U told me that I must find a good guy. No, u are the best in my mind in my heart.i dunno how to speak gentle, isnt ur excuse to leave me ? I’m so hurt. U always told me that u love me so much and I believe that u will not told me be gentle a bit . coz my action had been fixed, in ur inner heart I think u will think tat jessica ur action or language I don’t mind coz I love u . Am I rite? Don’t say no. there are no one know more bout u..my word no sweet but all the words are froming by my inner heart. From heart to heart. I know u wont cry again. But sometimes, I really miss u especially after we break up. We keep contact..slowly, we will lose our contact. Will u ? I promise, if u really get the disease I willing to do ur partner until u finish ur life journey. U don’t say tat I’m great. Actually, I’m not becoz I love u.u don’t say tat it will hurt me deeper coz I had promise u whenever sad or happy we must share together. U don’t cheat me tat u didn’t get the disease after the report come out coz u will hurt me deepest than everything except my parents.i’m just wan to give u happy days escape from pain of treatment. I don’t want u suffer alone. I can do it. If u really do tat, do not beside after u be ghost. I wont bother u , I wont forgive u. sorry, lap tears 1st.here the blog had been a prove for us .today u go out with friends, I hope ur emotion can be recover but I’m sure the pain still there. U are so strong! Thank u baby.1 month or 2 month? But anyways I jz hope u can beside me as fast as u can. I dun wan others. I’m sorry that I always make u angry. Sorry.nowadays, I’m oni know u angry for my goodness and argue can make ur emotion drop. In this few month ,are u sure we wont lose our feeling to each other? (cry) I don’t wan others guy, I wan u oni. And that day I sent u the sms: “ when cold u gv me blanket; when sleep who help me cover blanket; when hungry who buy food for me; when sad who consolation me; when cry who lap my tears; when shopping who paid for me and the main is when down who give me hope and encourgement?” u tell me, wat can I do now? K7 faster bek to my side pls..God, why a good couple can be but the problem occur between us? Why god?

Sorry, i love u..

there are too much love in our life ..Family, lover, siblings and cousins. the love i had before between me and k7.I alaways thought tat, love can make someone change their mind. But i'm too adorable.Love?i dunno wat is love since now. we had our memory b4, how u want me to give up. I admit,i got told u tat i want to give up to cause u always complain tat i control u. From tat second,i told myself, give him freedom, free form me. Mayb he can live more happily.
Are u still remember our first meet? U are quite shy but it jz a moment , when in the taxi u hold my hand kiss my hand. U didnt regret that u had chosen me although i'm fat. U never complain tat u ar ugly . in pizza hut, we spoon feed each other ..the ppl around us they us peamerable. they are not alive? i said i'm thirsty, u didnt care how much the price of the drink u jz buy it. U give all the best for me . Now i'm typing here and my tear rolling down and wet my clothes.
christmas day 24/12/2008 , i wont forget it. I love u but people think like i'm fool. How a stupid gal couple with a indian guy? i thought tat i got told u before i love ur coz not ur skin and not ur money. i jz hope my lover can gv me the best. since i know we are not suitable to each other, i'm so sad. we not unsuitable and we jz the religion problem.Give each others some times, that ur choice . I'm not complaining and not regret. And after the few days i'm in sad mood. i will forget
it all. coz feeling almost gone, i'm already pull out of love .red card!! not yellow card!!u know stg? last time we always argue, it oso our best memory. now, we are facing a big problem. I told myself, if u really got Alzhiermer disease, i willing to bbe ur partner for another 4 or 5 years. I'm not regret, i jz wan u have ur full life when u go.Do not left anything which hvt done yet. I know we are no more posisble but i jz hope the next generasi u will be my son or daughter.Together with u
not jz a temporary , 1 year 2 month..If u think tat easy to give up, it not jz a easier thing to me. if u say i'm still a little gal , mayb i'm. Mayb u think tat i'm mature, yes i'm. mature in the heart.
outlook is not everythings! remember the things. I know not ur tears rolling down but i jz hope u can think properly b4 i gone. Coz,u are really hard to find.I love u kesavan...there are too much memory for us and i cant leave it like now. Do not cheat urself tat u are already put up ur hand. U cnt cheat me and u cant cheat urself oso.Now, in ur world, i'm the 1 who always keep in touch with u except ur parents. no one know more u than me. Understand? U said tat u dont wan hurt me.
but u doing it now.At least give me a good reason why we break up. religion is not a good reason .. It have many years to go to settle it.i really cant leave u like tis way. Sorry, i love u .

Web promoter

We always jealous that someone get it rite? Am i rite? If u face the problem as challenge, will it be imposisble? I'm trying to give up..giving up on sport.When i open my cupboard, i saw a lot of champion in it. when i close up my eyes , something vivid in my mind. Can u feel it ?champion? how i won it? i still remember..in every tournament, i told myself..I'm chinese, i won lose..must preseverance at all.
Since form 4, after sprained..i'm no more focus on it.N my opinion now is earning money by webs. i had register an account but i havent strart my business yet. Any company need web promoter? here am i?

independence

Horey, exam finally finished. Daddy going to Ipoh before my exam finished, I miss my dad..dad’s birthday coming soon. I don’t hv any idea to celebrate or buy something for him. And u ? I’m planing to go kl and A’famosa or genting. I hope can go with lover. But since he argued with me said he was my atm and juz play his feeling..I’m so hurt..I wont waste his money ady..i paid myself..so, if going to genting I will reject.I’m not obvious! I dun like guys talking bad behind me.Before exam, I’m plan to blogging but now , the feeling gone. Beside that,my class was a big war there. For example, Alice and us..after Alice be a AJK prefect, she beginning proud..she like to show anger on others..That why I don’t like her attitude..Someone asked me : “ jessica , why such teacher care for u ?” I didn’t answer. 1st, when teacher teaching we listen, in school be a top student with good result and sport girl. Yesterday, Cikgu Rosa told me Jessica next year no miss training , and I will find a caoch to train u. she said must get emas then Iruan said not face masks..they all bully me , but I know they care for me .going to graduate soon..as 2010. After that I’m going to Singapore. No matter how hardship my parents they said: “if u want to do , just go ahead.” Ur life ur future..Yes ,I’m agree that I’m the youngest they always keep control me since small. Now they gv me freedom. Friends told me “ they dun hv relative there if we go singapore very hard to survive.then I reply , I got relative there. But I dun want to find them oso.” I’m going out of malaysia coz I dun wan people always helping me . I’m already a big gal. everything settle by myself learn to independence.
My target: ( A1)
Chemistry
Physics
Biology
Mathematics
Pendidikan moral
English
Chinese
Addmath
(B3)
Bahasa Malaysia
Sejarah
I can do it .. start it now..i’m already big gal, do not let parents always worry bout me .
Kesavan, did u think that I’m changing ? Yes ,I’m changing, changing to independence.Learn to earn money by myself. I earn money by myself. I want richier than u..not ur parents money. Dare to compare? Let’s us start the game. I will study hard. SPM decide my life!!i’m not trying to say break up. I juz by do everything by myself.no more spoon feed.
b_girlmandy@hotmail.com

Starting over..Dont look back on ur life with full of risk.

Starting over..
Retirement never quite escapes our thoughts as our age advances.It’s a side effect of the lives we have carved out for ourselves, one that promotes wealth and risk management above all else, all in name of security.
Step 1:
• Assess your like and dislike.
• People change careers coz dislike their job, boss or companies
• Ur direction.
• What excites you?
• What is ur passion?
• The spending time rediscovering urself.
Step 2:
• Transferable skills.
• Leverage some of ur current skills and experiences to renew career.ex:communicate,leadership,planning.
Step 3:
• Training & education.
• If plan to persue ur passion, chances r u well ready.
• But u mz update ur skills & broaden ur knowledge.
• Take course ensure u like the subject matter.
Step 4:
• Networking
• Ppl in ur network may gv u job leads,advice & information bout company & industry, exoand network.
• Consider colleagues,friends, family.
Step 5:
• Be flexible.
• Flexible bout nearly everythg from ur emplyment status to salary.
• SET +ve GOALS for urself, but expect setbacks..

Me as a teenager..what should i acting over..

Headache but I still typing here..I cant control my emo ..My tears keeping brimming around my eyes..i told myself everything will be fine..no one can control ur life..u the one who control urself not others! Whole night I cant sleep, going to sick , maybe bcoz of sick I can sleep all the days, no stress ,no noisy and nothing happen around me jz a wind blowing day by day ,sumtimes raining welcum me..thunderstorm forgv me tat y it approaching now..face the problem as a challenge..Hopefully I can sleep peacefully..like a dead person and I dunno when will happen..Are u remember a song ( if there is no tomorroe) (chinese song) wat u wan to do? Stg like last mins breath..I wan go travel all the world with someone accompany me..enjoy the life with modern, nature or unrealistic..my ring ur ring jz lost stg on the ring ..the name ..name of love? Somehow ppl said forever love , would them? Wat is love..let me told u wat is love..read carefully..let me start from teenage..
Is teenage love puppy love? Is it trial love? Is it true love? It seems that most teenagers are getting involved with members of the opposite sex as a form of entertainment.

There are some views from parents. Some of them say falling in love is a bad thing for teenagers. They are not mature and they may get hurt when love is over. And it will take several months to recover. More serious is that they may have sex when in love. Due to their ages, they don’t have any capability to assume responsibility for it if the girls to be pregnant, especially the girls’ parents complain. Because generally the girls, which are pregnant, will be the victims of the love affair. So some parents may warn their children about ignoring their lifelong true friends for someone who was just passing through.

But I think that these parents just have very short memories and no longer recall the realities of love while they were teenagers.

Teen love is quite real because of their innocent young mind. The purpose of love is pure, not because of money, power or status, or some other things have nothing to do with love. The motive of loving starts from human beings. Love is the fact of life, especially for teenagers. It is the thing that is important and central to human existence. It is not like the lights or some other electrical goods can be turned on and off. It is involuntary and automatic.

The reality is that Puppy love is something that can be remembered to the end of our lives. I've heard many people on TV talk how they will never forget their first love. And lots of people even have happily married still have a small flame that burns for their first true loves. Is there something magically about that? Maybe that's because it taught them how to love.

Love is something that can be extremely confusing and frustrating. I know that as a teenager love was extremely confusing and frustrating to me. The only way to...

Last breath of my life

May be u will scold me as stupid, brainless but i would like to tell u ..even last of my breath i can talk a lot..here the blog to share with u..when u see my blog ,u will know how hurt u are..coz that all is ur mistake.

What is life being

Hello…blog walker..hello malaysia..hello all my friendz..long time didn’t blogging..Neither miss me nor miss my blog? Perhaps there is nothing special in my blog..Perhaps there is a broken english in the blog..anyways, when I’m boring ,sad ,stress( final exam) or argue with my lovely dear (k7) sure I’ll blogging here..relax my mind here..Hehe!
1st let me talk bout handphone..help..help..my hp need 1st aid box..coz it had been hurt by many times.. ^@^ I want change a new handphone but it is imposisble to ask dad to buy for me..I know ability of my parents..they had been gv me a comfortable life all over 16 years..without any hardship..oni study..I’m thinking if I didn’t change new hp I’m scare that my handphone will explo..coz there is day by day talking on the hp..the batery not gud to use too long..it containing chemical reaction..^8^Anyways, I “hope” my new handphone will get soon..
2nd I want to improve my langguage..^&^ bahasa Melayu and Bahasa English..CRY! ya, I love science subject .. science is my stongest subject coz I like it..especially biology..i still remember..last time teacher Tan wee ling she had been operation a hamster..I’m wanted to touch the hamster’s heart bcoz..the hamster havent end of its last breath..the heart still beating..so excited if I touched it..but I didn’t do it..too smelly la…God god..how I want to improve bahasa Melayu..? Why the ppl whp doesn’t concentrate when teacher teaching they still can get high mark..why they cheating in the class the teacher still become nothing? Why they so unfair..Where is justice? Where is man’s law? And Where is their own principle?huh?
Help…boring la.. felt a bit dissapointed to A (H1N1) coz it make me and my honey cant go patuo…Alwayz stay in a room with four walls ( green colour’s wall) until my eye oso green green jz one more thing no star on my head if not..haiz..this few days, I look like want argue with mum..coz she oso misunderstand me ..my daddy know me sick so call mum bring me go hospital is not bcoz of daddy scare I transfer the sick to him..and if got any sick doctor ask u ..u must tell him where u sick..there is no secret between me(sick) and doctor..for example,if I’m gastics I told doctor tat I sakit kepala then doctor gv me paracetemol lo..so how my sick to recover? If want to cheat doctor better dun waste the money see doctor..and u can treat my sick recover I think all traing’s doctor need to eat grass lo..coz u are a doctor ma..sumtimes if u help me to operation u need to help me kill all the bacteria if not it will bcum more serious..but u didn’t do it and u still angry me scold me said ppl control u ..and sumtimes I so angry with u ..as u said the word” I born u out I wan to scold u ,beat u ,kill u oso can” mind ur word..coz hell will balas to u when u had died..so I never scare..i open my heart..I’m really respect to u ( my parents) if I’m not a gud daughter ..now I wont stay in the house, mayb I smoking? Mayb now I stay in prison..So, I’m dare to tell u..I’m enough to do everything to u all..I willing to study , I willing to be the star of my school, I willing to do everything better than 2 brothers..but be fair..2 bros can study in collage pls gv me some money to study..
Life is not full of complaint..there is fantastic, hopeful, realistic life…no one can escape from the real..I wan grow up I wan grow up..I wan to hv my own life..I know it will be very hardship..but human is being born to hardship…I dun like study economic , acountance at all…stop calling me study it…if u wan, ur age is not a problem ..u can study …sumtimes, i’m enjoy in the house..with a cup of coffee with jazz song and sit on the soft sofa but my house sofa not soft and so hard.. but it cant happen to me now..my house so noisy la ..especially machine sewing…hate it..noisy..tat y I always stay in room..1st the blanket so soft..when stress I’m jz lay down take rest..2 hours over everything bcum normal..sumtimes, I’m really admire at small baby..i oso wan bcum small baby..see baby can laugh like crazy, they can cry whenever they unhapi or they hungry or want to change pampers..when parents holiday ,they bring baby go beach , go shopping or go swimming pool..play with baby..so why not I bcum a baby?when I saw baby doll I jz need to waste a drop of tear, daddy faster pay the money to custom take the babie doll for me..so what ..i like it..when parents see her or him laugh they oso laugh ..see the baby so adorable..when sleeping so cute..when eating mummy feed..they jz oni laugh laugh laugh untill 12 years old..so admire..tc show..cartoon..(spoon feed children) mean spoon come mouth open, money come hand open..i wan er..

Lack of comunicate

the lack of comunicate between me and my family..After my 2nd bro graduate, i look like less comunicate with family...It had been busy of training, tournament and study..People said why i can get the good result during examination..Weekdays, after school go tuition after that go training..I duno why my caoch like a tiger..Actually he is not fierce but the thing is whenever my team partner didnt go to training ,he wont scolded them..but me..if i missing for 3 days sure he start sms me and ask why i didnt go training. Hello, I'm not SSBJ or SSBP player ok? He always said bcoz of u we cant train teamwork...that why i dun like teamwork games! I like badminton..Single..Whatever they said me fat..but i still get champion.. coz the heart oni focus on personal games...Fine.Tournament? 1 month sure got 3 day or 4 days not in the school for form 1 and 2 ...Form 3 more serious..3 month not in the school..i would attend my Kem Bakat for 2 month b4 i go tournament in KUANTAN. So, when i come back from games surei concentrate my study, my dad told me if u get bad result in ur exam ur sport will be ended by this year..So i didnt give up everything tat i have..A lot of teacher care of me , i couldnt make them dissapointed..I wan be the star of school..sport A result oso A..i want be the role model between my cousin tat y my mum call me must study hard dun let ur cousin bully u make the family down. May be u not in my situatuin sure u not understand how hardship am i? bcoz of the days without stop training,tournament, study..it make me lack of comunicate between me and my family eventhough my classmate n my friend..Whenever they want to hang up with me sure i'm in other place..when came back the day would be monday and sunday..everyone prepare for morning school dy.. my classmate all called me " ghost " suddenly appear suddenly disappear..SHOCKED! nowadays, i try my best to rescue it all..to rescue my knowledge and social comunicate.Now, quite freedom..coz i retired dy.hehe..Most of the time i use to study and stay in the house with family...yeah yeah...but still lack of comunicate..

Truth

My background can u see? Even I sad , I cant share with u oso. Sometimes miss u but I cant disturb u..y? study…When we can meet? I duuno wat do say dy..but I know tis few days I feel so boring with u…realy. Everytime sick..haiz..u promise me ady but u didn’t do it to me..i really duno wat to say…u say u very sayang me care for me u done it..but I feel stg lose between me and u.. I think communicate gua..take care.. I wont ask u to show webcam dy.. if u really wan to see me .. u come triang la.. u yhe 1 who push me force me to study.. I think everything will be fine if we keep the condition like FRIEND..

we are going to end...

Even how much u love me oso, i swear i'm really fall in love to u..tat why every seconds hope u can acc me..But u said:" pls gv me some freedom?" Yes, i will.But i'm going to tell u our games very easy to end..Really..As my ex ..Not i want to make comparision..See,sure u said , u go patuo with him la..u,wan freedom, let go la..I think i no need to tell u why i love u ady..I didnt say break up..but i think one day ours contact will be stop..Or change. The earth alive is not bcoz of u ..bcoz of time..If u didnt sayang ur oni lover, she will dissapear when u need hers.Y i said like tat? Are u still remeber what i had told u yesterday? I said " now u everyday study, when u get a job sure u put ur family aside bcoz u think tat money is important than love important than everything in the earth..Remember, time cannot buy the pass...pls tc ur lover..now or one day u find the true love..My hp need to repair ady i think we less talk more better la...coz no time for u ady...someone take ur time..u thinking, y i treat u like tis..It is not bcoz of u not sayang, u very sayang me , i jz dunno how to love u...actually u said i selfish yes i admit and i mementingkan diri sendiri yes i'm. U ? I think yes oso..Coz every living things oso selfish mementingkan sendiri ..like 2 lion and a deer. If the 1st lion dun want to fight with 2nd lion to get the food(deer) THE 1ST LION WILL GOING TO STARVING and going to die..And if u not dare to interview some job which suitable to u ,then the job will automatic change to others people...even though tat is low price salivary but at least better than no salivary. Remember..

Sweat memories

This holiday I’m going to Kl..It is a quite interest place whre I want to go la..hmm,after go kl for 3 or 4 times..I feel a bit tired dy lo bcoz nothing to buy there sumore it is a big city and all of them busy on working..If really want to spend ours holiday I think Penang, cameron highlands, ipoh,kampar(visit my parents),johor bahru or go oversea..I “hope” when I 18 years old I can go oversea with my dear under my parents allow..bcoz sometimes I really cant to cheat them..If I cheat them, I will not hapi and more enjoy to any games and any travel.We they called me ,I keep cheating them ,my heart so hurt..I scare I cnt cheat them sucessful…especially now(underage ma)! Haiz…oopz! I go toilet 1st..wait for me ,dun read too fast ya..Bek..hehe! 3rd june till 7th june..it’s quite fast to pass u know! Even I just go for 4 days it’s look like I go 2 days 1 nite oni u know? I miss my bb so much when the bus start to move..I still want to phone my parents I will return a bit late tomorrow coz I hvt find my shoes successful yet…so sob~ how cum now I oni think how to cheat? But I think it’s enough to cheat my parents..coz everything will be fair..1st day I go kl..we almost spend all time in the room…so so so so BORING! So nothing to write..2ND DAY,we go out around 11.15 stg,we go pavillion find my shoes 1st…suddenly I meet my friends..a bit shy lo…I know my bb not hapi at all dy..bcoz,mayb he …lor!then we go bek room..evening go times squarefind shoes 1st..unseccessful oso so we go watch movie..17 again..tis movie quite ok la..i like it ..hehe.3rd day we go watch movie oso..but 1 thg I still stick in my mind is my bb not hapi oso coz I force him to go out of the cinema..sorry for I selfish…but I had been told u..if u wan u can stay here, I can go bek 1st..but u said “ u think I want to leave u alonne me?” then u go out with me together..U keep angry on the way to tunes hotel..and I told u to do stg stupid things means I called u to close the door to cheat my dad at all..u swear? Okla..past tense ma..i like u hug me..coz u hug so so so warm…u lap mhy tears , u ngeri me…make me laugh..thank u bb..

I Swear to my love

I swear by the moon and the stars in the skyand
I swear like the shadow that's by your side

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my part
Cause I stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

And I swear by the moon
And the stars in the sky
I'll be thereI swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be thereFor better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

I'll give you every thing
I canI'll build your dreams with these two hand
sWe'll hang some memories on the wall
And when (and when) just the two of us are ther
eYou won't have to ask if I still care
Cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse (better or worse)
Till death do us part I'll love you
With every single beat of my heart
I swear I swear I swear


http://www.imeem.com/rocker707/music/7QJLKpy2/all-4-one-i-swear/

A people who felt alone

Today is the 2nd day of exam and tomorrow will sitting in mathematics exam.I didn’t scare of it and I’m full of confident.Furthermore,I still can sit in front of laptop and write down all my sadness!today I’m seriously no mood.I didn’t eat breakfast and next meal(dinner) I also wont take it..Seriously,I also dun know wat happen to me..today got physics tuition class,I’m so angry ,why teacher only pay attention to male students?when I told my friends that teacher unfair,Sir Chang come in front of me and asked me are u understand? I just tell him, from jz now until now I dun know what u had taught..then he try to step by step teach me..For what??seriously,I’m really want to take the book and knock the table..show my anger..I’m really cant to control ady..Not only me misunderstand wht u had taught even my classmates oso dunno wat u had teached?I want to change my tuition class teacher after holiday.i want I want iwant! Now if I make comparison between physics and addmaths I like addmath more than physics lo…I admit that my calculation better than better remember a lot of concept lo!I hate physics but I wont give up! As yesterday I sms with my ex that I’m so stress on studying and I said if this exam cant do well I’ll lose the interesting about study…Cause I never study hard like this .If I really failed one subject I’ll lose the interesting bout study…then, he told me:’’Jessica,u seen not a ppl who easy to surrender?campare to last time,u wanted to fight until u get the champion.” Yes, I admit!everyone oso said like tat…and I told my sir b4 if no champion I wont put it in my cupboard.so my target only champion. I dunno what happen to me since 2009 ,eveything had been changed!I’m look no energy to fight…After that he sent me a message, that time I’m already slept.1st message he sent me..”you want to cried or not?” 2nd message he sent me a message”a message which wish me happy forever wish me hv a good result”.He didn’t selfish oso, he said” u can called ur boy friend accompany u study ma..” I said he stay in seremban so hard to accompany me.And he more buzier than me..so,I’ll try my best to less contact with him.Degree student ma and he is a future leader of nation..and I must support him bcoz Jessica is k-7’s gf.

Life is a such things which can lose easily…
Today I’m so scare and so sad about murder case. I’m keep asking myself why the murder so cruel???sumore the gal who kill by her ex bf,for what?? Life without love, will them end of their life?Please I hate the man who without critical thinking…1st,can u give her the best?Can u catch her heart touch her heart?2nd ,any provent can make sure u are hers??Can u success in ur life and share everything with her??For me,success in his life is the best choice for me coz I want my love wont be DREAMS!!every parents hope their children can get a good family after them..good career,good family background,gv comfortable life for next generation,keep it from now to forever.Today,my daddy and mummy told me,gal u must be careful when u choose ur life partner..they said:”study time dun talk bout love…”after study we wont stop you to chase ur future partner..we just want to see u growth happily..even daddy face about money problem,dad still buy a such thing to me..I think I had been enough..My parents love me so much…My baby support me told me ,u must get 6A if not he’ll scold me but I didn’t care bout my baby scold me coz I know he oso want me success in my life..If my baby didn’t stress me up I think my future will be destroy because no any supporter when I’m needed..Thank you Kesavan dear!because of you I found my hapiness, I found the hapiness of study, I found one more care from you,one more support from you..wherever you stay I hope u wont give up to wait for me…if we really want together 1st we must study hard success together in our life to make sure our parents admit we are 1 pair…can you???as my dad said, you are oni daughter in family dun let people look down at u and family..sometimes I’m so sad cause my family is being look down by my cousin..so when I’m stay in school I’m always told myself, I wont let u look down at me..i would like to show u ,u will see me on newspaper one day…I would like to show u how powerful am i..as my nickname rocket pahang!!!people said us very rich actually that just a shell..rich cannot not buy love,rich cannot buy healthy and rich cannot buy well-being!So what is the meaning of LIFE?Bb, sorry for June we cannot meet..I wish u can forgive me,if my parents knoe we patuo nw sure daddy break up us..From the case , I know how important about study!I promise u and my family members I will study hard as my hope and fears for next 7 years…And bb the shoes I will buy myself la…u just help me to FIND spike shoes for me can ar?? FIND only dun pay for me!a good spike cause I dun want my ankle injure again..so sport shoes and spike shoes every important to me..shoes I will find u juz help the to find afer that u pay 1st, I will give u bek the real price..Dun worry…Please help me..please…

Happy MOther's Day

Mothers’ Day is all about thanking you…
For starting my day on a healthy note..
For that delicious breakfast of porridge..
For making sure I am punctuak for school…
For that fashion advice that makes me look cool…
For helping me with my homework,especially with BC…
Fpr comforting me whenever start to panic…
For nursing me when I am down & out
For telling me when to speak & when to shut my mouth…
For nagging me to go to bed early..
For always keeping me safe & healthy.
For being my chef, nurse and teacher..
Most of all, for being YOU!!!

I LOVE YOU...

Sorry for i'm scare to face you and said I love you..

Sometimes I’m really scare of you…

Stop asking me why why why???? Seriously I’m really don’t know why. I would like to tell u that I like freedom…I don’t like people control me too much…Wat I want to do just let me go! If u feel fed up I will not keep asking u too much question~ Did u know
Which status am I in ur heart??? If i’m boy, I’ll just leave u like tat!!I always remind myself isn’t he is ur best choice??? All the man no one is better than u ??My friend asked me: “Ah Ca, you both is come from different culture, life, colour of skin even the thought of each other oso not same ,wat fort u wanted be with him?? Why got others better than him u still wan to be with him???” For my informant’s information, she said : “You must think properly..” As I said: “life and death are in ur hand!” No one change ur mind, no one can stole ur heart~ Before tat , you must remind urself to look before u leap!! Now I’m scare about how we spend the time together??? How we couple to each other?? Because the worst things still sticked in my mind!!! I recalls a lot of things about my life !!How was the life start??? How we choose our life??? Isnt money can buy everything??? For me, the ans is no! I would not like the money….Sometimes money can buy someone’s heart…If one day the people bankrupt, what will happen???would u thinking of this kind of problems before???? I can confirm that…the life will end with sadness..Will u agree with ?

Sometimes, we argued for small kind of things but I hope I can remind u that if u treat me bad> worse>worst, I wont be with u !!! Life oso cannot confirm everythings ,if stg really want to happen sure will happen 1 day..We just dunno when will happen~So, I’m seriously tell u , if 1 day I really leave u away…That is my choice~ If u want to brag bek, I’ll tell u tat : “Wait until the coming generation! Love + Hurt = End…Love is very unfair example…I hope u can improve urself…How great man or how good human being oso = 0…Because we must believe tat TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NO MAN!!! WAt is the meaning of true love?? Discription the meaning of true love??? 1 thing….how valueable u are oso non-used~ Cause ur heart is black in colour…I believe tat nothing will make me sad after losing u in my life~ Take care.

i'M YOURS

The day the nite u gone...Dear, i miss u...I wan u hug me...hold my hand kiss me...yer,need to wait another 9 months eh...How to wait o ???Haiz...Bb..Actually i really love u ...BUt i dunno how to describe my heart's feeling..I dunno how to romance u ....Hmm...If talk bout romance..u the one must romance me..u are guy ma...Wat to do???Hehe..I'm the 1 u romance me..no more gals..except ur mummy...MUaks! Sorry dear...I know u are degree student, i know u very bz...But i felt alone ma so i call u lo..talk with u lo...u the 1 who studu study and study ma....So no more time spend to me lo....Bleuks! Bb...holidays almost finish eh...need to start my engine again lo...i think this year wont be tat bz lo...coz sport all stop ady ma...but next year sure bz one la...hmm, like u said..sport cant promise u anythg and study is the 1 who decided ur future ma...So i study smart lo...adjust my timetable accurately lo ...B4 i retired form vb in myteam, i really scare i will alone and felt boring in the house... now, i dont think so!! You want to KNW MORE MY TIMETABLE ????
MON4.30 wake up (study time)School tll 2.30pm3.30pm go library till 5.30pmthen 6.00 till 7.00 ( FREE TIME)9.00pm till 9.30pm (revision)9.30 to 10.00pm (sleep)
TUES4.30 wake up (study time)School till 2.30pm4.00pm to 5.30 (co-curiculum)then 6.00 till 8.00( free time )9.00pm till 9.30pm (revision)9.30 to 10.00pm (sleep)
WEDNES5.30 wake up ( Study time)School till 2.30pm4.00 to 5.30pm (co-curiculum)5.30 to 7.30 (Tuition)8pm (rest)9pm (study)10pm (sleep)
THRUS5.30 wake up( study time)school till 2.304 to 5.30 (co-curiculum)5.30 to 7.30 (tuition)8pm (rest)9pm (study)10pm (sleep)
FRI5.30 wake upschool till 12.30pm2 t0 4 (tuition)6 to 8 (homework)9.00 (arrange book)Free time
SATURFree time (whole day)
SUN11am (study)2.30 till 5.30 (library)6 to 8 (homework )8 to 10 (FREE TIME)10pm sleep
bb, WRITE DOWN UR WHOLE WEEK TIMETABLE TO ME...

My hopes and fears for the next 7 years

Being rather pessimistic, I would like to start off with my fears. I guess my most immediate fear is the approaching SPM examination. Though I have always been conscientious and am often among top 3 student in my class. i hope the lucky star always behind me give me a last push for SPM examination...even through i know my dream wont be tat accurately...But i hope i can enter matriculation.
This would mean my parents would have to spend more money to send me to a private collage.But i never hope it will happen around me...I never want to spend my parents's money.i want to be a " spotan "children between my siblings.
my greatest fear in the next decade when i turn to 23-year-old is the fear of not successfully completing my degree. What if i failed miserably? My parents would be dissapointed and I would be devastated. Wht would i do if i were thus unable to support myself? How o??
Related to this is the fear of growing older and alone. I love being a teenager with lots of friends. This is the time when u can enjoy the best tat life has to offer without worrying about working for a living, getting married and becoming parents, nut without good qualifications, i would becondemned to a low-paying job. My high-flying friends would probably shun me, and no one would want to marry me and eventually i'd die alone and unloved. This is what would pain me the most.

But enough of this gloom and doom! I must make sure tat this sad scenario doesn’t occur. My greatest hope is tat I complete my medical degree with distinction. I realize that this calls for a lot of diligence and sacrifice but I am more than ready to meet this challenge.

Also, in the next 7 years, I hope to change for the better. I tend to get impatient and short-tempered which gets me into hot soup with my parents and friends, so that’s definitely one trait I’d like to get rid of.

Just a important is my hope that my parents will remain in good health lolz. They are now in their late fifties and enjoy excellent health except my dad because my dad’s ankle so pain…n his emotionally disturb him… I pray for the god would give my family members have a good health.. Hope SWT Allah give a good career for my 2 brothers…

Last but not least is my hope that my family and I will always be happy. Hapiness is an elusive thing but I hope that we will be content, not only for the next 7 years but also for the rest of our lives…Brags the golden chance to get back my dear… Spend entire life together…Make sure we will be a role model partner and it will be remain alive to our next generation…can u do it?

Whay qualities will you look for in your future husband?

I am still schooling but pretty soon I will be earning a living and thinking of getting married. Most people marry for love but all too often, marriages break up because they have chosen unsuitable partnes.
It is therefore important for me to choose my future husband carefully as I want my marriage to be happy and last forever. i realise my own imperfection and know that any romantic notions of marrying Mr Universe are out.
Besides, physical perfection is no guaranteee for ineer beauty and mental strength which are more essential. Of course, I want my husband to be good-looking but he must be gregarious, with a pleasant personality and an ability to mix with everyone easily.
He must be well-educated, at least up to the Collage (Bachelor of Degree).He must also be caring and be able to think independently. I want my husband would make for more exciteing interaction and meaingful relationship.
Nevertheless, there must be some common ground. I love watch movie and i hope my darling can spend out the time with me...Talk with me, jokking around me...
I would like him to be working man. Some old-fashioned Asians might still believe that a guy's place is in the company but not me. A double income will enable us to have a more comfortable lifestyle and we will be able to give our children the best of everything.
Besides, the working world has challenges to offer both men and women, and womansuch as I have described would definitely not want to stay at home, wasting her education. On the contrary,she will thrive at workplace. However, if she herself prefer to stayhome and look after the children.( For me i wont!) I want working...
Apart from this, my future husband must be understanding. I tend to get moody but just once in a while, so i hope he will put up with the times when i need to be alone. i expect him to give me some space, just as I will respect him own moments of quiet.

Hollow Tears

4-5 FEB 2009, 2 days of Badminton tournament.1st day of tournament had been win all the games.2nd day of the tournament...i lost the semi games...Single i can win the metal gold but i renounce it...Before i start the semi game i told myself she jus as Lin Dan and me jz a Lee Chong Wei.Coz Lin Dan taller than Lee Chong Wei...But no use...Lee Chong Wei still win the games be a top player in whole country...World ranking 1!!!!ok,fine when i started to play the games i win (21-16) 2nd match (18-21) 3rd match (12-21)...I know i can play but i really lazy...After games, Kerayong's principal asked me: " Jessica, how is ur games?" i said:" I lost." Then he said:" Why you dun want to win? I know u can win why u surrender? A face look like dissapointed.." I oso felt sad...Cotinuously, Cikgu Azman asked me:" Jessica, kenapa u kalah? Kenapa u tak mau main dengan intentif? U tak nak pergi Pekan ke???" I juz keep quite there..Continuosly, Chew Sun said:" Jessica, if u dun wan to win the games next time better dun wan to join..." I agree wat Chew Sun said..MY HERAT AS DROP INTO THE DARK HOLE...After that Cikgu Lim( Guru teknik for SMK Triang),he jz said nothing but his eyes non-stop and asked me :" Why Why Why???"I really dunno how to face my teachers all...when i returned school after tournament...The guys of my class and 4 S class said:" Oiyoo,national champion come bek ady.." They didnt asked stg bout my tournament coz in their impression i'm win tha champion jz a normal thg...so they look at me like very hapi...Actually my heart really bleeding...so hurt. Tomorrow (Monday) i dunno how to face all the teacher especially Pn. Khor( Perak's coach),Abu Samah, Iruan (SU kk) and my biology teacher...And i dunno how to face all of my friends who are olahraga ,volleyball, badminton player and all my lovely friends...I know they will keep asking why...

This is the 1st games which make my so hurt...I never get the 3rd prize...beside tat...I got two gang of teacher support me..1st gang support me in sport 2nd gang suport me in study...who support me in study is My entire life partner k-7, En.Hamidi , Assitance principal (En.Chua), Mr.Tham and Pn.Khor.They said :" U will be the doctor in future." Thank you teachers ...i Think i shold oni focus on study ady...if no confident to get champion i wont join...

KL trips

A 4 days 3 nights trip make me to remember as long as one lives. Time as fast a rocket (my own word)..The 1st day i reached KL was around 11something..wow!So hungry...after that k-7 and me take tren to KL Sentral had a lunch. It was a great chicken rice shop in KL sentral..I'm thinking customers of chicken rice shop almost full!! Need to queue up and paid money...look so busy wor~Fine, It is the time to return from the digression...After Having our meals,my bb brought me into a Famous chocolates shop.So nice and well-being o! Bcoz,most of the boy friend wont bring their gal friend go n buy chocolates bcoz it will make thier dearest lover "pop kai". But my bb wont do tat, he knew me very well..he knew me not the greedy gal who spend the money without eyes!!Right???
In the planet called "Earth".It contains a lot of different type of skin's human, racial and fact!! On the other hand, different racial had thier different fact such as Melay n Chinese. Can u find out how many differences between both of them??? Well~ Let me explain to u all..Melay have a session called Hari Raya Puasa. Look so pityful u know, they cant to eat anything after 12am till 7pm...!This is the 1st point. 2nd point,they needed to wear the sarung although it is used for take shower n sleeping.(Hehe, when i go training most of the athelet are malay and Indian so i need to follow them wear the sarung take shower.)Tell u my private things la...sometimes i take shower my sarung will suddenly drop down luckily no ppl look at me at the sence!huhu~3rd cannot eat pig althought they always said ppl as a pig.(that time i cant to control myself ,n luckily Sir Alias faster run away from me if not i think he terpaksa shout as a pig!! Wahaha..Always Babi babi!!!That why i'm hate Malay ppl~
The 2nd day,we wake up not tat early n not tat late~After wake up, take shower n arrange my bag my shirt n everything in the room~Around 10.30am we had our meals in other part or sg.wang. I'm not comfirm where is tat place and sumore i never go there!!! Hmm,compare with Thailand mee and Thailand tomyam..I'm more like Thailand tomyam!I'm finished all the thailand mee who serve for me bcoz of i want to make a prove tat i wont waste the food!!! Hehe~After had our breakfast we forward to sg.wang! I dunno my bb dun like sg.wang so i followed bb go Times square lo..I like sg.wang bcoz of more choice and more cheaper than times square!!! And the quality of the shirt is not worse than times square...I admit there really very busy and got a lot of ppl look at us! Sorry ...
Fine, we walk to the times square...Hmm,times square is bigger than sg.wang lo but the price oso "BIGGER" than sg.wang lo...Hehe! I'm so sorry to waste bb money coz...he spent a lot of money to me ady...I dunno how to retaliate to him...seriously!!Sumore both of us just a student (degree student and secondarly student). Can u imagine how we spent the money? Jz a breakfast we spend more than 50 ringgit ..Adui!Hmm, we looking around there n found some new year clothes...Bb bring me to a high class brand's shop .It called Esprit...Wow,oni a skirt the price is RM 199 after discount is RM143..if my parents know me bought a skirt spent about 50 ringgit sure my mum scold me de...So better than i keep my mouth shut lo...I'm so thankful 4 bb..Tell u the truth,i'm a gal who dont like to spend guys money!! Coz,i want spend the money which i earm by myself not husband or wat...This is the 1st time ,i hope it wont happen again lolz...
Wow, actually i'm still hv a lot of story in KL trip but i'm thinking thinking and thinking..It is the time go to sleep ady...gud night bb...Have a nice dream..!