Hollow Tears

4-5 FEB 2009, 2 days of Badminton tournament.1st day of tournament had been win all the games.2nd day of the tournament...i lost the semi games...Single i can win the metal gold but i renounce it...Before i start the semi game i told myself she jus as Lin Dan and me jz a Lee Chong Wei.Coz Lin Dan taller than Lee Chong Wei...But no use...Lee Chong Wei still win the games be a top player in whole country...World ranking 1!!!!ok,fine when i started to play the games i win (21-16) 2nd match (18-21) 3rd match (12-21)...I know i can play but i really lazy...After games, Kerayong's principal asked me: " Jessica, how is ur games?" i said:" I lost." Then he said:" Why you dun want to win? I know u can win why u surrender? A face look like dissapointed.." I oso felt sad...Cotinuously, Cikgu Azman asked me:" Jessica, kenapa u kalah? Kenapa u tak mau main dengan intentif? U tak nak pergi Pekan ke???" I juz keep quite there..Continuosly, Chew Sun said:" Jessica, if u dun wan to win the games next time better dun wan to join..." I agree wat Chew Sun said..MY HERAT AS DROP INTO THE DARK HOLE...After that Cikgu Lim( Guru teknik for SMK Triang),he jz said nothing but his eyes non-stop and asked me :" Why Why Why???"I really dunno how to face my teachers all...when i returned school after tournament...The guys of my class and 4 S class said:" Oiyoo,national champion come bek ady.." They didnt asked stg bout my tournament coz in their impression i'm win tha champion jz a normal thg...so they look at me like very hapi...Actually my heart really bleeding...so hurt. Tomorrow (Monday) i dunno how to face all the teacher especially Pn. Khor( Perak's coach),Abu Samah, Iruan (SU kk) and my biology teacher...And i dunno how to face all of my friends who are olahraga ,volleyball, badminton player and all my lovely friends...I know they will keep asking why...

This is the 1st games which make my so hurt...I never get the 3rd prize...beside tat...I got two gang of teacher support me..1st gang support me in sport 2nd gang suport me in study...who support me in study is My entire life partner k-7, En.Hamidi , Assitance principal (En.Chua), Mr.Tham and Pn.Khor.They said :" U will be the doctor in future." Thank you teachers ...i Think i shold oni focus on study ady...if no confident to get champion i wont join...