I just made a karaoke recording: Westlife - The Rose check it out at http://www.karaokeplay.com/recordings/the-rose-1183782.html

I just made a karaoke recording: Westlife - The Rose check it out at http://www.karaokeplay.com/recordings/the-rose-1183782.html

break up day of 4th

Today is our break up day of 4th..u always told me that, past ady past ady, but u know stg? “ iIt is important to retain past mind, imposisble to hold onto present mind, and imposisble to grasp future mind.” This is become there is no such thing as a “ mind” that can acquire or control things. Laa..this is not the point!!! I want always be with u ..not oni go go mei mei!!i hope we can couple again. I dun hv any reason to grab u bek , I jz want u happy always. My heart still open for u as u said. But today jz the 4th day, my heart already a bit gone. Seriously. U told me that I must find a good guy. No, u are the best in my mind in my heart.i dunno how to speak gentle, isnt ur excuse to leave me ? I’m so hurt. U always told me that u love me so much and I believe that u will not told me be gentle a bit . coz my action had been fixed, in ur inner heart I think u will think tat jessica ur action or language I don’t mind coz I love u . Am I rite? Don’t say no. there are no one know more bout u..my word no sweet but all the words are froming by my inner heart. From heart to heart. I know u wont cry again. But sometimes, I really miss u especially after we break up. We keep contact..slowly, we will lose our contact. Will u ? I promise, if u really get the disease I willing to do ur partner until u finish ur life journey. U don’t say tat I’m great. Actually, I’m not becoz I love u.u don’t say tat it will hurt me deeper coz I had promise u whenever sad or happy we must share together. U don’t cheat me tat u didn’t get the disease after the report come out coz u will hurt me deepest than everything except my parents.i’m just wan to give u happy days escape from pain of treatment. I don’t want u suffer alone. I can do it. If u really do tat, do not beside after u be ghost. I wont bother u , I wont forgive u. sorry, lap tears 1st.here the blog had been a prove for us .today u go out with friends, I hope ur emotion can be recover but I’m sure the pain still there. U are so strong! Thank u baby.1 month or 2 month? But anyways I jz hope u can beside me as fast as u can. I dun wan others. I’m sorry that I always make u angry. Sorry.nowadays, I’m oni know u angry for my goodness and argue can make ur emotion drop. In this few month ,are u sure we wont lose our feeling to each other? (cry) I don’t wan others guy, I wan u oni. And that day I sent u the sms: “ when cold u gv me blanket; when sleep who help me cover blanket; when hungry who buy food for me; when sad who consolation me; when cry who lap my tears; when shopping who paid for me and the main is when down who give me hope and encourgement?” u tell me, wat can I do now? K7 faster bek to my side pls..God, why a good couple can be but the problem occur between us? Why god?

Sorry, i love u..

there are too much love in our life ..Family, lover, siblings and cousins. the love i had before between me and k7.I alaways thought tat, love can make someone change their mind. But i'm too adorable.Love?i dunno wat is love since now. we had our memory b4, how u want me to give up. I admit,i got told u tat i want to give up to cause u always complain tat i control u. From tat second,i told myself, give him freedom, free form me. Mayb he can live more happily.
Are u still remember our first meet? U are quite shy but it jz a moment , when in the taxi u hold my hand kiss my hand. U didnt regret that u had chosen me although i'm fat. U never complain tat u ar ugly . in pizza hut, we spoon feed each other ..the ppl around us they us peamerable. they are not alive? i said i'm thirsty, u didnt care how much the price of the drink u jz buy it. U give all the best for me . Now i'm typing here and my tear rolling down and wet my clothes.
christmas day 24/12/2008 , i wont forget it. I love u but people think like i'm fool. How a stupid gal couple with a indian guy? i thought tat i got told u before i love ur coz not ur skin and not ur money. i jz hope my lover can gv me the best. since i know we are not suitable to each other, i'm so sad. we not unsuitable and we jz the religion problem.Give each others some times, that ur choice . I'm not complaining and not regret. And after the few days i'm in sad mood. i will forget
it all. coz feeling almost gone, i'm already pull out of love .red card!! not yellow card!!u know stg? last time we always argue, it oso our best memory. now, we are facing a big problem. I told myself, if u really got Alzhiermer disease, i willing to bbe ur partner for another 4 or 5 years. I'm not regret, i jz wan u have ur full life when u go.Do not left anything which hvt done yet. I know we are no more posisble but i jz hope the next generasi u will be my son or daughter.Together with u
not jz a temporary , 1 year 2 month..If u think tat easy to give up, it not jz a easier thing to me. if u say i'm still a little gal , mayb i'm. Mayb u think tat i'm mature, yes i'm. mature in the heart.
outlook is not everythings! remember the things. I know not ur tears rolling down but i jz hope u can think properly b4 i gone. Coz,u are really hard to find.I love u kesavan...there are too much memory for us and i cant leave it like now. Do not cheat urself tat u are already put up ur hand. U cnt cheat me and u cant cheat urself oso.Now, in ur world, i'm the 1 who always keep in touch with u except ur parents. no one know more u than me. Understand? U said tat u dont wan hurt me.
but u doing it now.At least give me a good reason why we break up. religion is not a good reason .. It have many years to go to settle it.i really cant leave u like tis way. Sorry, i love u .

Web promoter

We always jealous that someone get it rite? Am i rite? If u face the problem as challenge, will it be imposisble? I'm trying to give up..giving up on sport.When i open my cupboard, i saw a lot of champion in it. when i close up my eyes , something vivid in my mind. Can u feel it ?champion? how i won it? i still remember..in every tournament, i told myself..I'm chinese, i won lose..must preseverance at all.
Since form 4, after sprained..i'm no more focus on it.N my opinion now is earning money by webs. i had register an account but i havent strart my business yet. Any company need web promoter? here am i?

independence

Horey, exam finally finished. Daddy going to Ipoh before my exam finished, I miss my dad..dad’s birthday coming soon. I don’t hv any idea to celebrate or buy something for him. And u ? I’m planing to go kl and A’famosa or genting. I hope can go with lover. But since he argued with me said he was my atm and juz play his feeling..I’m so hurt..I wont waste his money ady..i paid myself..so, if going to genting I will reject.I’m not obvious! I dun like guys talking bad behind me.Before exam, I’m plan to blogging but now , the feeling gone. Beside that,my class was a big war there. For example, Alice and us..after Alice be a AJK prefect, she beginning proud..she like to show anger on others..That why I don’t like her attitude..Someone asked me : “ jessica , why such teacher care for u ?” I didn’t answer. 1st, when teacher teaching we listen, in school be a top student with good result and sport girl. Yesterday, Cikgu Rosa told me Jessica next year no miss training , and I will find a caoch to train u. she said must get emas then Iruan said not face masks..they all bully me , but I know they care for me .going to graduate soon..as 2010. After that I’m going to Singapore. No matter how hardship my parents they said: “if u want to do , just go ahead.” Ur life ur future..Yes ,I’m agree that I’m the youngest they always keep control me since small. Now they gv me freedom. Friends told me “ they dun hv relative there if we go singapore very hard to survive.then I reply , I got relative there. But I dun want to find them oso.” I’m going out of malaysia coz I dun wan people always helping me . I’m already a big gal. everything settle by myself learn to independence.
My target: ( A1)
Chemistry
Physics
Biology
Mathematics
Pendidikan moral
English
Chinese
Addmath
(B3)
Bahasa Malaysia
Sejarah
I can do it .. start it now..i’m already big gal, do not let parents always worry bout me .
Kesavan, did u think that I’m changing ? Yes ,I’m changing, changing to independence.Learn to earn money by myself. I earn money by myself. I want richier than u..not ur parents money. Dare to compare? Let’s us start the game. I will study hard. SPM decide my life!!i’m not trying to say break up. I juz by do everything by myself.no more spoon feed.
b_girlmandy@hotmail.com