My hopes and fears for the next 7 years

Being rather pessimistic, I would like to start off with my fears. I guess my most immediate fear is the approaching SPM examination. Though I have always been conscientious and am often among top 3 student in my class. i hope the lucky star always behind me give me a last push for SPM examination...even through i know my dream wont be tat accurately...But i hope i can enter matriculation.
This would mean my parents would have to spend more money to send me to a private collage.But i never hope it will happen around me...I never want to spend my parents's money.i want to be a " spotan "children between my siblings.
my greatest fear in the next decade when i turn to 23-year-old is the fear of not successfully completing my degree. What if i failed miserably? My parents would be dissapointed and I would be devastated. Wht would i do if i were thus unable to support myself? How o??
Related to this is the fear of growing older and alone. I love being a teenager with lots of friends. This is the time when u can enjoy the best tat life has to offer without worrying about working for a living, getting married and becoming parents, nut without good qualifications, i would becondemned to a low-paying job. My high-flying friends would probably shun me, and no one would want to marry me and eventually i'd die alone and unloved. This is what would pain me the most.

But enough of this gloom and doom! I must make sure tat this sad scenario doesn’t occur. My greatest hope is tat I complete my medical degree with distinction. I realize that this calls for a lot of diligence and sacrifice but I am more than ready to meet this challenge.

Also, in the next 7 years, I hope to change for the better. I tend to get impatient and short-tempered which gets me into hot soup with my parents and friends, so that’s definitely one trait I’d like to get rid of.

Just a important is my hope that my parents will remain in good health lolz. They are now in their late fifties and enjoy excellent health except my dad because my dad’s ankle so pain…n his emotionally disturb him… I pray for the god would give my family members have a good health.. Hope SWT Allah give a good career for my 2 brothers…

Last but not least is my hope that my family and I will always be happy. Hapiness is an elusive thing but I hope that we will be content, not only for the next 7 years but also for the rest of our lives…Brags the golden chance to get back my dear… Spend entire life together…Make sure we will be a role model partner and it will be remain alive to our next generation…can u do it?

Whay qualities will you look for in your future husband?

I am still schooling but pretty soon I will be earning a living and thinking of getting married. Most people marry for love but all too often, marriages break up because they have chosen unsuitable partnes.
It is therefore important for me to choose my future husband carefully as I want my marriage to be happy and last forever. i realise my own imperfection and know that any romantic notions of marrying Mr Universe are out.
Besides, physical perfection is no guaranteee for ineer beauty and mental strength which are more essential. Of course, I want my husband to be good-looking but he must be gregarious, with a pleasant personality and an ability to mix with everyone easily.
He must be well-educated, at least up to the Collage (Bachelor of Degree).He must also be caring and be able to think independently. I want my husband would make for more exciteing interaction and meaingful relationship.
Nevertheless, there must be some common ground. I love watch movie and i hope my darling can spend out the time with me...Talk with me, jokking around me...
I would like him to be working man. Some old-fashioned Asians might still believe that a guy's place is in the company but not me. A double income will enable us to have a more comfortable lifestyle and we will be able to give our children the best of everything.
Besides, the working world has challenges to offer both men and women, and womansuch as I have described would definitely not want to stay at home, wasting her education. On the contrary,she will thrive at workplace. However, if she herself prefer to stayhome and look after the children.( For me i wont!) I want working...
Apart from this, my future husband must be understanding. I tend to get moody but just once in a while, so i hope he will put up with the times when i need to be alone. i expect him to give me some space, just as I will respect him own moments of quiet.

Hollow Tears

4-5 FEB 2009, 2 days of Badminton tournament.1st day of tournament had been win all the games.2nd day of the tournament...i lost the semi games...Single i can win the metal gold but i renounce it...Before i start the semi game i told myself she jus as Lin Dan and me jz a Lee Chong Wei.Coz Lin Dan taller than Lee Chong Wei...But no use...Lee Chong Wei still win the games be a top player in whole country...World ranking 1!!!!ok,fine when i started to play the games i win (21-16) 2nd match (18-21) 3rd match (12-21)...I know i can play but i really lazy...After games, Kerayong's principal asked me: " Jessica, how is ur games?" i said:" I lost." Then he said:" Why you dun want to win? I know u can win why u surrender? A face look like dissapointed.." I oso felt sad...Cotinuously, Cikgu Azman asked me:" Jessica, kenapa u kalah? Kenapa u tak mau main dengan intentif? U tak nak pergi Pekan ke???" I juz keep quite there..Continuosly, Chew Sun said:" Jessica, if u dun wan to win the games next time better dun wan to join..." I agree wat Chew Sun said..MY HERAT AS DROP INTO THE DARK HOLE...After that Cikgu Lim( Guru teknik for SMK Triang),he jz said nothing but his eyes non-stop and asked me :" Why Why Why???"I really dunno how to face my teachers all...when i returned school after tournament...The guys of my class and 4 S class said:" Oiyoo,national champion come bek ady.." They didnt asked stg bout my tournament coz in their impression i'm win tha champion jz a normal thg...so they look at me like very hapi...Actually my heart really bleeding...so hurt. Tomorrow (Monday) i dunno how to face all the teacher especially Pn. Khor( Perak's coach),Abu Samah, Iruan (SU kk) and my biology teacher...And i dunno how to face all of my friends who are olahraga ,volleyball, badminton player and all my lovely friends...I know they will keep asking why...

This is the 1st games which make my so hurt...I never get the 3rd prize...beside tat...I got two gang of teacher support me..1st gang support me in sport 2nd gang suport me in study...who support me in study is My entire life partner k-7, En.Hamidi , Assitance principal (En.Chua), Mr.Tham and Pn.Khor.They said :" U will be the doctor in future." Thank you teachers ...i Think i shold oni focus on study ady...if no confident to get champion i wont join...